They don't need perfect.

I am thankful for a bad day. I realize how weird that sounds. Thankful for a bad day. But just past week, I had a really bad day. From the second we got out of bed, it was just downhill. 

My Sunday school lesson didn't go well. But I can shake that off, you win some you lose some, all you can do is prepare and do your best. But during church Graham was incredibly cranky, and all over the place. I was struggling with the children, feeling overwhelmed. Church is always tough, but I usually get some quiet time in the afternoon to gather myself. Well, since we had such a busy weekend, I was frantically doing the 4 loads of laundry, cleaning the kitchen that had yesterday's breakfast dishes and food stuck on the stove, and tying to tidy up our living area. I am so thankful for Braden's calling, I love the opportunities it gives him to serve and excercise his priesthood.

 But days like last week when I am throwing made-from-scratch goodies into the mix for his home teaching families within the hour, be ause he's been at meetings and such since the break of dawn, I sometimes feel the pressure. 

After an exhausting afternoon and still feeling like I'm drowning in housework and kids, I found myself getting short-fused. Graham was extra needy, and instead of putting everything aside and giving him the snuggles he needed, I was getting cross at him tugging and whining at my feet as I'm preparing another dish to take to a friends home. I had hinted that I didn't want to go, but Braden was really keen on going, so the cookies I made. The kids were whining, and I was stressed out so the whining was making me feel bad for neglecting them. But what do I do?

 I broke. I cried, and Eve was so concerned about my crying. "Mom, why is there a tear?" Braden finally returned from home teaching, and found me. He gave me a hug and asked me what was wrong, but he soon figured it out. Fussy kids, and sad mom...easy guess. 

Well, next Braden tried to make me feel better, and he asked Eve "isn't you're mommy the best mom?" But then I heard her answer....it was "no."

I lost it, I ran to my room sobbing. I pleaded to Heavenly Father to help me feel some comfort. Shortly after, Eve walked in, she came to sit on the bed right next to where I was kneeling. She lifted my chin, and wiped my tears with her little index finger. She stroked the side of my face, and She said so gently, "mom, you are the best. I'm very sorry I made you sad." I replied with 

"Eve, I'm sorry, but I feel like a bad mom" 

She says "mom, you share your silver juice with me (diet coke in a silver can), and that's good. You make me food and sandwiches, that's good. You let me watch shows sometimes, that's good. You let me help you make cookies, that's good. See mom, you do lots that's good." 

It was a perfect moment. I felt immediate comfort, this little person told me almost exactly what I needed to hear. I knew Heavenly Father sent her to heal me, and with her gentle soul and kind words, she did. I love my family and my Heavenly Father. I am going to remind myself of a saying I was told once...."they don't need perfect, they just need you". 

I am so grateful for the insight God granted me, and the sweet comfort he brought through my Evie. I do my best, and that's all I can do. I have to remind myself that my kids won't remember a tidy kitchen or living room, but they will remember playing with their mom.