Oh the joys...

Today was one of those days. It started out great, had a productive morning, even had a play date with out friends at the house. No fights or quarrels between the kids, baby well behaved. All was too good to be true.  As soon as I helped my friend Lindsey and her kids get into the car, I went back inside. Big mistake!
Eve was screaming as she was falling down the stairs towards me. Adrenalin rushing through me as I try to catch her, only to trip myself killing my elbow. After I get her calm(ish) I hear Graham fussing. It being a while since I fed him, figured he was just hungry. I pick him up out of his exersaucer, and sit down to feed him.
Well, he was covered in poop! The biggest blow-out of all time! I was cleaning poop out of his armpit crevasses. As I am trying to clean up the poop that is all over his clothes, the carpet, my hands, and his back Eve is in the background complaining that she is "soooo bery hungry". So I start to make her some lunch. And rush this gross poop covered mess into the bathtub.
I seem to get him cleaned up, and as I lift him out of the tub he pees in my face and all over my clothes...great. I hear another cry for help as I hear Eve falling down the stairs again (seriously?! Inner ear problem?)
So, I leave Graham on the floor as I go find Eve while urine is running down my face. And what I find is Eve sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs, with an empty cup. Water, all over the painting I had started for a friend that was (stupidly, I will own this one) sitting at the bottom of the stairs. She was coming up to tell me that her grilled cheese I started making her was "smelling gross". Oh yes, I forgot about the grilled cheese, burnt to a crisp.
Well, I managed to keep it together long enough to get the kids down for a nap, with this blessed moment of peace, I choose to blog  (before I forget the gory details, because this post reveals that my mind isn't functioning at it's best today), try to salvage the painting that got wet, and put together the pieces of my sanity....In conclusion: kids-5, mom-0. Better luck tomorrow.
Just as I finished writing this, I hear little footsteps down the stairs. Eve, having just woken up from her nap, says "I didn't mean to, but I just woke up and I had pee in my pants, and in my bed." awesome, better go take care of that.
Oh parenthood, it brings so much joy and happiness. But at times, I just have to shake my head and say "you can't make this crap up"...literally, this life is messy.